July 2, 2019
Step 9 – CA member shareShare
When i arrived on step 9 had 5 months clean after of 4 years in and out of 12 step fellowships constantly relapsing.
The first time i finally got a sponsor and got willing to go to any lenghts to have a spiritual experience to get some freedom from addiction and from myself.
At 5 months clean, with a long step 8 list from drug dealers, family members to school directors, and still not 100% sure about the power of the program, i got to a phase of my life in wich there was no way back and i was to afraid to go forward.
My sponsor nicely just told me to keep on going and to ask God for some help. Full of fear, anger and frustration i spent an hour allone in my appartment talking, even better, arguing at God, asking begging for a sign of his existence to give me strenght to go forward with my ammends, otherwise it would be very difficult to do them. After screaming, shauting, beggin i reallized i was acting a litle crazy and i quit asking God for a sign. Turned my lights off and went to be to sleep and when i finaly switch off my mind i receive a text message. Was the guy i used to use crack with... 4 months before he asked me help to stop and i told him about the meetings with a long conversation but never again heard from him. That text message i received was saying that he just went to his first meeting on that same moment and that he was 100% that was the way to go, he was very gratefull to discover recovered addicts and we was just keep sendind more texts sayng Thank you men thank you for showing me the way!
I got up my bed, fell on my knees and started to cry like a litlee baby full of gratitude and knowing of the existence of a poer grater than myself, no doubt about it. I knew God was the responsible for that moment and i got to experience the point C on the BB. C – God could and would if He were saught.
That was what i needed to begging with my step 9. And i have to say that i begging with the first one on the list and end up with the last one and every single them were pure God power acting in my life. The promisses strated to fulffil in my life and after 4 years relapsing i now have almost 8 years with a program that works!
Step 9 was a powerfull step that change my hole prespective over the world, myself and God.